Cait Read online

  “I’ll stop at the gas station to fill up the car, and then if you guys want, we can go to Winchers Crest.” We tell her that we have no problem going to the diner from there.

  The gas station is by the expressway and looks to be in business. The sign on its roof says “SANDERS GAS.” There are lines at each of the eight gas pumps. Leah gets behind a black Toyota Camry and taps her fingers on the steering wheel as we wait for our turn. We do not have to wait long; three minutes later, it’s our turn.

  There are gas attendants that pump the gas into customers’ tanks so they don’t have to get down and pump it themselves. Leah has gas pumped into her trunk, then makes her payment, and we are once again headed for the diner.

  Winchers Crest seems to be busier during the day than at night. There are twice the number of people that were there when we came around on Friday night. That’s what it should be, in my opinion. At night, most people want to do is stay indoors with their families.

  Leah’s mother is talking with a female customer when we come in. She sees us and waves with a smile before continuing with her conversation. It seems she’s done because now she’s coming towards our booth.

  “Hi darlings. How are you doing on this beautiful Monday? Classes went okay, yeah?”

  “Yeah, Mom. Classes were great.”

  “What about you, Cait? How was your first day at Winchers High?”

  “My first day went well. I did not expect it to be as interesting as it was. The teachers were all nice, and I’m already looking forward to tomorrow.”

  “I’m so glad to hear you say that. You’ll get used to the system soon enough.”

  “I’ve not gotten used to it. And today is not my first day.”

  “Charlie! Will you ever be serious?” Susan says laughing.

  “I am,” he replies.

  “Fine. You’ll get used to it soon, too. What do you all want to eat? And no processed food for you today, just so you know.”

  After going back and forth about what choice we should make, we all settled on spaghetti and meatballs. Susan brought everything herself this time, saying that it was busy hour.

  We do not realize how hungry we are until our plates of food are set before us. Like internally displaced people, we dig into the meal; almost no words were said. Susan was thoughtful enough to get us a jug of fresh orange juice too. Leah and Charlie were wrong; today, I didn’t use pot, and this meal still tastes like the best spaghetti and meatballs I have ever eaten. Minutes pass and each one of us has finished their food and washed it down with a glass of juice.

  “Are we ready to go now?” Leah asks. We ask her to wait a little for us to rest and that is just what we do for a while. Despite the fact that it is Susan that serves us, we still leave tips on the table as we make our exit.

  “It’s straight home now, right?” I ask generally.

  “Unless there’s somewhere else you want to go, yeah,” Charlie answers.

  “So, Cait, how did you find your classes today? And what do you think of Miss Emma?”

  “Classes were almost perfect, really. I don’t think I’ll be needing much help from you guys.”

  “Really?” asks Leah.

  “Um-hum! Miss Emma is creamy chocolate in human flesh. So, that’s why you mentioned her looks, eh? I could lick her all day.”

  Hanna and Leah cough mischievously.

  “What?” I shrug.

  “We’ve had the same thoughts too. That is why we are glad to be in someone else’s class. Seeing that goddess every morning can distract you for the whole day. She teaches financial accounting, but we have it once a week, and that’s enough.”

  “I laugh in chapters,” Charlie says, actually laughing.

  That is, until I say, “And oh, my neighbor’s name is Georgia Reynolds. She seems nice; gave me a mini-orientation.”

  Hanna says, “Charlie should know better. He has wet dreams of Georgia. He even calls her Georgie like an intimate friend, whenever he talks about her. And his eyes light up like an energy bulb.”

  “Please, enough,” Charlie pleads, his face beet red.

  “I didn’t catch that.”

  “Please.”

  “You’re lucky that we’re siblings,” Hanna says, and Leah laughs shortly. Evidently, she is still preoccupied with whatever is on her mind.

  So, that’s the Georgia all right. How does it feel to have a crush anyway? I don’t think I’ll be able to bear that for long. But then, I get it; being rejected is one horrible feeling.

  Hanna and Charlie get off at their place, and then it’s just me and Leah in the car. After a beat, she says, “Cait?”

  “Yeah?”

  “There’s something I want to tell you.”

  “Alright.”

  “No, not here. At my place. Can you come over this evening, maybe after resting?”

  “Sure.”

  “Thanks, girl.”

  There is no further conversation after that, until she drops me at home and says that she’ll see me later.

  I wonder what she wants to talk about. She is obviously harboring some emotional secret, and it’s weighing her down. But if that’s what she wants to talk about, why me? Why not Hanna? After all, they’ve been friends since before I came into the picture.

  I walk up to the door and turn the handle. It’s locked, so I ring the doorbell. Tyler opens it on the second ring. It’s been ages since I last saw him at home this early. He works in a manufacturing plant but does not go every day, because he works in shifts. But even on his work-free days, Tyler is rarely ever home.

  “Hi, Cait.” My brother has a beautiful smile.

  “Hi, Ty.”

  He moves aside for me to walk in.

  “How was school today?”

  “I enjoyed all the classes.”

  “Good girl.”

  “Why are you home at this time?”

  “I don’t have any shifts today.”

  “But you don’t stay back at home even when you don’t have shifts.”

  “Today, I feel like staying home.” He grabs a bowl of popcorn from the couch in front of the TV, which is showing a program, and continues to eat it. That’s it; end of discussion. It seems everyone around me has something to hide. And I’m here, being an open book, because it’s supposed to help me heal.

  “Where’s Hazel?”

  “Probably sleeping in her room. She made lunch after she came back from work, and then she went upstairs.”

  I go into my room and flop down on the bed. The box of mysterious items is under my table. I think it’s about time I properly went through its contents. I’m almost certain that I’ll find some answers in there. Also, I want to ask Hazel who it is that paid my tuition fees.

  But not today. I’m very tired, and all I need now is a blissful nap. When I wake up, I’ll go to Leah’s and find out what it is that she wants to talk about. I pull off my clothes, leaving my underwear on. Then without bothering to put on something else, I lie back down. Soon, I’m in la-la land.

  CHAPTER TEN

  When I wake up, I look at the face of my wristwatch and the time is 5:46. Which means that I slept for approximately two-and-half hours. Time to visit Leah and find out what she wants to say to me.

  I find a pair of denim shorts and a crop top in the wardrobe. Putting them on, I head out the door and down the stairs. Tyler is still in front of the TV, but this time around, he’s not alone. Hazel has woken up and joined him. They are watching in companionable silence.

  “Good evening, sis,” I greet.

  Hazel turns. “Hi! You’re awake. How was today at school?”

  “It wasn’t bad. It was actually great.”

  “I like the sound of that.”

  “Um-hum! I’m going to Leah’s. She asked me to come.”

  “Alright. Just
be back early.”

  “I will.”

  I go out the front door and shut it, then almost skip to Leah’s house. I’m in high spirits today, and it feels so good. Hopefully, whatever Leah has to say won’t ruin that. Getting to her front door, I knock and she opens almost immediately.

  “Hi! Come on in.”

  We go upstairs to her room. It has become almost as familiar to me as mine. I sit on the bed, and she drags a chair to sit opposite me. Wow, this must be some serious shit.

  “Cait, what I want to tell you, I’ve told nobody, not even my mom.”

  “Uhm, okay...”

  “You might wonder why I chose to tell you this instead of Hanna. The reason is simple; you’ve known pain, seen it, so you understand. This is a secret that I’ve been keeping since tenth grade, and recently, it has been weighing me down. I need to confide in someone whom I can trust to keep quiet. At least, my chest will be lighter, and my secret will still be safe.”

  I don’t know what to make out of this, but I am careful not to let it show. Leah never needs anybody’s help, so this is a privilege.

  “Whatever you tell me in this room today, stays between us; promise.”

  “Right.”

  She takes a deep breath, looks at her hands for some seconds, and then raises her head up to look at me. “It’s about Vic Scumb. He almost raped me last year.”

  “What?” I say, in total shock. This is something I did not see coming at all.

  “You heard right. That evil pervert almost took me by force. And when I say almost, I mean every letter of the word.”

  Then, to my utmost chagrin, Leah, oh-so-strong-Leah’s voice begins to crack.

  “We moved here last year, and I immediately continued from where I stopped in school. I saw Victor one day, during recess, and it was as if I had met him before. Though he was in a higher class, we still made time to see each other, both in and outside of school. I thought he was all I wanted. He was so attentive, helpful, and patient. Not to forget good looking. I guess that was . . . that was my greatest undoing.” Leah stops to wipe her eyes. I try to touch her, but she puts out a hand for me to stay put.

  “I don’t want any sympathy, please. We started going out. Back then, I was not friends with Hanna and Charlie yet. He was basically my only friend. We visited each other at home and talked for hours. We talked about anything and everything. Sometimes we just made out, but did not go far. Then, a couple of months later, he started saying that we should have sex. I wasn’t ready. I felt it was too early. He kept insisting, and we fought a few times as a result. Those were signs; I should have stopped seeing him then. But I didn’t. I still spent evenings at his place. His parents were hardly around, so we could do whatever we liked.

  “That fateful evening, I had gone to see him as usual. We had a few drinks and then started making out. We were in the living room. Then he grabbed me and threw me on the rug. I screamed and struggled, but he pinned me down and tore my dress. He’s the reason I wear denims. He stuck his finger into my pussy, and even though I cried out, he did not stop. Then, he . . . he tried to force his dick into me, but he could not get it up. He kept trying, while pinning my throat down with his other hand. Somehow, I found the strength to push him off and make for the door. The prick started laughing. I grabbed my bag and ran into my car. Thankfully, Mom was at work when I got home. I went up to my room and cried and cried. There’s a little mark just around my jawline from where he scratched me during that struggle. You can see it.”

  I get up, and she shows it to me. It is a white, straight line, almost fading but still there. My heart goes out to her. I doubt I would be able to live with an experience like this. I’d either kill him or kill myself.

  She continues. “He came to me during recess the next day. Said he was terribly sorry and blamed it on the alcohol. I screamed at him and told him to stay away from me or I’d call the cops. But he knew that I didn’t have any evidence, so he kept coming around me. Even until now, he does not pass up a chance to talk to me whenever he sees me. That makes people that knew we were once dating think that I am still interested in him or something. Really, if he does not stop, I’ll pay him a visit one of these days and carve out his balls,” she finishes with a cuss word.

  If I was at a loss for what to say before, I am speechless now. But I have to say something. So, I try. “This is horrible. And I thought I had issues. Leah, I’m so sorry. Now I know why you reacted that way in the parking lot. Is it still traumatic for you?”

  “More or less. It gets easier with each day. But I’ll get over it someday, that I’m sure of. My mom suspected that something was wrong in the days after the incident, but I kept telling her that I was fine. My excuse was that I was still settling down here. I’m sure that if my dad were still alive, he would have pestered me until I told him. And he would have killed the fucker.”

  “Oh?” I never knew that her father was deceased. I thought that the reason she has never spoken about him is maybe he left like mine or she didn’t know who he is.

  “Yeah. He was a veteran in the army. Rose to the rank of general. Then, retired to be close to his family. He had not spent more than two years as an ex-soldier before death came calling.”

  “How?” Since she has decided to open up to me today, I seize the opportunity to ask questions I have been wondering about.

  “He got ill. Lung infection. It was very brief and ultimately fatal. Before we could say jack, he was gone. I go to the cemetery every now and then, to talk to him, and place flowers on his grave. It’s like therapy for me and helps me get through bad days.

  “I had to grow up quickly after he died. Especially because of Mom; she almost lost it. We were living in another part of town, but the memories were too much, so we had to move and I had to lace up my bootstraps. I knew that if I didn’t show emotional strength, I could lose her too and one loss is enough for me. Sorry, I don’t mean to sound insensitive.”

  I smile. “You don’t. It’s not your fault my parents aren’t here.”

  Poor Leah. Sometimes, knowing too much hurts.

  “True. Well, we all take each day as it comes and try to be strong for each other. His vacuum can never be filled, but we’re past mourning now, which is a good thing. We’ve come to terms with the fact that he’s not coming back, and we’ve moved on. So, that’s that.”

  “I’m sorry Leah. That was some conversation. Just know that I’m always here for you. Is there anything I can help you with?”

  “No. You’ve done enough by listening. Now, let’s go down to the kitchen and have ice cream.”

  And that is exactly what we do. Two of us, broken in different ways, sitting down and eating frozen banana-flavored ice cream like we haven’t a care in the world. We talk about school, our neighborhood, and Winchers. It is as if the previous hours never happened.

  It is eight o’clock by the time I decide to leave. I tell Leah that Hazel asked me not to stay out late tonight. We hug and tell each other that we’ll be alright, and then I go back home.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Today is Tuesday, and class is pretty much the same as yesterday. I could get used to sitting in a classroom for hours and listening to different people. Miss Emma comes to see us in the morning. I am told that each grade teacher is expected to do that every school day. She looks more beautiful than she did yesterday.

  Careful. You don’t want to be in Charlie’s shoes.

  After school, we all go back home without stopping anywhere else. Hazel is back from work when I get home, so I decide to ask her about my tuition. We are at the dining table eating rice and chicken sauce when I bring it up halfway into the meal.

  “Hazel?”

  “Mmm?”

  “My tuition, who took care of it?”

  “Is there a problem?” She drops her cutlery to look at me.

  “Not really. I just want t
o know who—”

  “Cait, you should finish your lunch and rest for the day first before asking questions.”

  “Asking questions? What do you mean by that? I’ve been asking questions since I got back from the hospital, and nobody is giving me any answers. Do you think it’s fun living like this, not knowing a lot of things you should know? Try having a memory problem to see how fun it is.” By this time, I’m very furious.

  “That’s enough, Caitlyn.”

  “No, it’s not. I want answers.”

  “Enough! I’ll answer your question.”

  I wait for her to talk while fuming inwardly. The nerve! Refusing to answer my important questions. Then, shying away from telling me who pays my fees.

  “This house was bought by the same person who paid for your tuition, who made sure the banks give us feeding allowances twice a year and who opened trust funds for us—Aunt Deserae. Satisfied?”

  No, I’m not satisfied. I feel like a freight train just went through me. Aunt Deserae who is presently in a coma, thanks to me. I jump off my chair and run upstairs to my room, bolting the door behind me. Burying my head in my pillow, I weep bitterly. Hazel is knocking on my door, asking me to open it.

  “Go away,” I shout.

  “You insisted on getting answers,” she tells me from the other side of the door. “I didn’t want to tell you because I feared this would happen. Please, open the door.”

  “Leave me alone!”

  Seeing how futile it is to be knocking on my door, Hazel retreats, and I continue with my tears.

  So, without Aunt Deserae, we might not have survived? Our parents just looked out for themselves and left us at the mercy of this cruel world. Life is not fair. She is the only person that looked out for us, and now she’s fighting for her life in some stupid hospital bed. I have to go and see her again, know how she’s doing. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself if she doesn’t make it. Why? Why?

  Suddenly, I have a flashback, it is as vivid as if it just happened yesterday. It is a day after I turned five years old. I remember because Mom and Dad threw me a birthday party. It was a big party; many of my schoolmates came and I got lots of presents. There was a very big cake with five candles.